The shine has not lost its luster. When I type “Goodreads” in my address bar and notice there is another book review for Surrogate Colony or Surrogate Code, my fingers shake.
The feeling is raw, real, and ready to tear my heart, and reveal my deepest insecurities. When the review is positive, it is a buzz that follows me for days. It is like a hit of cocaine. It is what keeps me writing. I never experienced this feeling with anything else; not years of gymnastics competitions, not public speaking, not even walking across the stage when I completed my Masters. I guess it is because creative writing is a piece of my soul, an element of me that will defy death, and continue. It also connects me to others, to others’ thoughts, to what makes them human, emotional, rational creatures that have found a way to survive through thousands of years. Even the negative reviews give me pause to think. They also connect me to me, my intentions, my goals, and my shortcomings. Negative reviews ground me and connect me to the slips that occur, the inconsistencies that appear with all pursuits, be they creative or technical. I hope everyone experiences the exhilaration of feedback. I wish for all humans the act of listening, reflecting, and coming into one’s own.